{"title":"White Elephant Winners","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe bars that win the gift exchange every time. Shock value, maximum laughs, zero regrets.\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"swamp-crotch-slayer","title":"Swamp Crotch Slayer Peppermint Tea Tree Bar Soap","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDescription:\u003c\/strong\u003e Some days you sweat like you've got something to prove. This one fights back. A cold blast of peppermint and tea tree shuts down the funk in all the low-airflow regions, while activated charcoal scrubs the shame of the day right off you. We named it for the problem. We built it for the solution. Your swamp has met its match.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eScent notes:\u003c\/strong\u003e Peppermint · Tea Tree — cool, sharp, faintly medicinal.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDetails:\u003c\/strong\u003e ~4 oz hand-poured activated-charcoal glycerin bar. Vegan-friendly, cruelty-free.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eGood for:\u003c\/strong\u003e The gym rat, the over-sweater, the friend who \"runs hot.\" Peak white-elephant material.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Stank Bars","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":48194404286685,"sku":null,"price":9.12,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0842\/1913\/4173\/files\/01_swamp_crotch_slayer.png?v=1787203509"},{"product_id":"ass-like-a-peach","title":"Ass Like a Peach - Handmade Bar Soap Funny Gift, Co-Worker","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDescription:\u003c\/strong\u003e The name's crude. The soap's a total sweetheart. Juicy fresh peach and skin-loving shea leave you soft, smooth, and smelling like the best decision you'll make all week. It's the pretty little bar with the filthy little name — the exact energy your bathroom shelf has been missing. The rest is between you and your squats.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eScent notes:\u003c\/strong\u003e Fresh Peach · Shea Butter — sweet, ripe, creamy.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDetails:\u003c\/strong\u003e ~4 oz hand-poured shea glycerin bar. Vegan-friendly, cruelty-free.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eGood for:\u003c\/strong\u003e Bridal showers, best-friend birthdays, anyone who appreciates a soft launch and a hard joke.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Stank Bars","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":48194409562333,"sku":null,"price":8.18,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0842\/1913\/4173\/files\/Stank_Bars_AssLikeAPeach_Benefits.png?v=1787203487"},{"product_id":"morning-wood","title":"Morning Wood - Handmade Bar Soap Funny Gift, Co-Worker","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDescription:\u003c\/strong\u003e Rise and grind. A rugged wash of cedar and sage with a warm golden shimmer — woodsy, clean, and completely unbothered. This is the bar that makes a shower feel like a personality trait. Manly enough to gift as a joke, good enough that he keeps using it long after everyone's stopped laughing.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eScent notes:\u003c\/strong\u003e Cedarwood · Sage — warm, woody, grounded.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDetails:\u003c\/strong\u003e ~4 oz hand-poured shea glycerin bar with a gold-shimmer finish. Vegan-friendly, cruelty-free.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eGood for:\u003c\/strong\u003e Groomsmen, dads, brothers, and any man who owns exactly one scented product.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Stank Bars","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":48194419425501,"sku":null,"price":10.84,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0842\/1913\/4173\/files\/03_morning_wood.png?v=1787203441"},{"product_id":"taint-misbehavin","title":"Taint Misbehavin' - Handmade Bar Soap Funny Gift, Co-Worker","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDescription:\u003c\/strong\u003e Cooling relief for the real estate no one talks about. A bright menthol tingle runs over a clean, minty-green bar — refreshing exactly where you need it and nowhere you'll admit out loud. It's the classiest filthy joke on your shelf, and secretly one of the most useful bars we make. Jazz hands optional.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eScent notes:\u003c\/strong\u003e Menthol · Mint — cool, tingly, invigorating.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDetails:\u003c\/strong\u003e ~4 oz hand-poured glycerin bar with a menthol kick. Vegan-friendly, cruelty-free.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eGood for:\u003c\/strong\u003e White elephants, cheeky stocking stuffers, and anyone with a sense of humor and a warm climate.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Stank Bars","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":48194436006109,"sku":null,"price":7.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0842\/1913\/4173\/files\/05_taint_misbehavin.png?v=1787203343"},{"product_id":"unstable-bundle","title":"The Unstable Bundle – Funny Soap Gift Set","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDescription:\u003c\/strong\u003e Because one soap can't cover this many moods. The Unstable Bundle pairs our best-selling \"therapist in a bar\" soap with a charcoal bar for the chaos and a glitter bomb for good measure — proof that self-care doesn't have to be calm to work.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat's inside:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eCheaper Than Therapy\u003c\/strong\u003e (Sweet Lavender · White Sage) — for the \"I need ten minutes alone\" days\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDumpster Fire Charcoal\u003c\/strong\u003e (Smoky Cedar · Pink Grapefruit) — for the group-chat menace in your life\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHot Mess Pink Grapefruit Glitter\u003c\/strong\u003e (Pink Grapefruit) — because everything's fine, you're just glittering now\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDetails:\u003c\/strong\u003e 3 handmade bars, ~4–4.5 oz each. Vegan-friendly, cruelty-free.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eGood for:\u003c\/strong\u003e Gift bundles, white elephant swaps, self-care baskets, or anyone who refuses to pick just one personality.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Stank Bars","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":48492807651549,"sku":null,"price":24.41,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0842\/1913\/4173\/files\/06_cheaper_than_therapy.png?v=1788385233"}],"url":"https:\/\/stankbars.com\/collections\/white-elephant-winners.oembed","provider":"Stank Bars","version":"1.0","type":"link"}