{"title":"Home page","description":null,"products":[{"product_id":"swamp-crotch-slayer","title":"Swamp Crotch Slayer","description":"\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\" data-sourcepos=\"13:1-14:327;538-881\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDescription:\u003c\/strong\u003e Some days you sweat like you've got something to prove. This one fights back. A cold blast of peppermint and tea tree shuts down the funk in all the low-airflow regions, while activated charcoal scrubs the shame of the day right off you. We named it for the problem. We built it for the solution. Your swamp has met its match.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\" data-sourcepos=\"16:1-16:73;883-955\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eScent notes:\u003c\/strong\u003e Peppermint · Tea Tree — cool, sharp, faintly medicinal.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\" data-sourcepos=\"18:1-18:94;957-1050\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDetails:\u003c\/strong\u003e ~4 oz hand-poured activated-charcoal glycerin bar. Vegan-friendly, cruelty-free.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\" data-sourcepos=\"20:1-20:102;1052-1153\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eGood for:\u003c\/strong\u003e The gym rat, the over-sweater, the friend who \"runs hot.\" Peak white-elephant material.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"My Store","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":48194404286685,"sku":null,"price":9.11,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0842\/1913\/4173\/files\/Screenshot2026-07-19015027_e74c13c6-693e-4a74-aa28-b8c215b76526.png?v=1784451332"},{"product_id":"ass-like-a-peach","title":"Ass Like a Peach","description":"\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\" data-sourcepos=\"30:1-31:323;1320-1659\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDescription:\u003c\/strong\u003e The name's crude. The soap's a total sweetheart. Juicy fresh peach and skin-loving shea leave you soft, smooth, and smelling like the best decision you'll make all week. It's the pretty little bar with the filthy little name — the exact energy your bathroom shelf has been missing. The rest is between you and your squats.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\" data-sourcepos=\"33:1-33:66;1661-1726\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eScent notes:\u003c\/strong\u003e Fresh Peach · Shea Butter — sweet, ripe, creamy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\" data-sourcepos=\"35:1-35:80;1728-1807\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDetails:\u003c\/strong\u003e ~4 oz hand-poured shea glycerin bar. Vegan-friendly, cruelty-free.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\" data-sourcepos=\"37:1-37:107;1809-1915\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eGood for:\u003c\/strong\u003e Bridal showers, best-friend birthdays, anyone who appreciates a soft launch and a hard joke.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"My Store","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":48194409562333,"sku":null,"price":8.18,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0842\/1913\/4173\/files\/Screenshot2026-07-19015058_22cf876e-7f09-49d7-9af7-d5733754396f.png?v=1784451317"},{"product_id":"dumpster-fire","title":"Dumpster Fire","description":"\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\" data-sourcepos=\"47:1-48:334;2080-2430\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDescription:\u003c\/strong\u003e Everything's on fire and you refuse to smell like it. Smoky cedar and bright pink grapefruit swirl through a charcoal-dark bar flecked with glinting gold \"embers.\" It's chaos you can hold in one hand — and somehow it comes out smelling incredible. A gift for the beautiful disaster who's holding it together with duct tape and spite.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\" data-sourcepos=\"50:1-50:89;2432-2520\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eScent notes:\u003c\/strong\u003e Smoky Cedar · Pink Grapefruit — warm, woody, with a bright citrus snap.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\" data-sourcepos=\"52:1-52:110;2522-2631\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDetails:\u003c\/strong\u003e ~4 oz hand-poured charcoal glycerin bar with gold-shimmer accents. Vegan-friendly, cruelty-free.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\" data-sourcepos=\"54:1-54:102;2633-2734\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eGood for:\u003c\/strong\u003e The perpetually overwhelmed, the group-chat menace, coworkers you're lovingly roasting.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"My Store","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":48194415460573,"sku":null,"price":8.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0842\/1913\/4173\/files\/Screenshot2026-07-19015034.png?v=1784451251"},{"product_id":"morning-wood","title":"Morning Wood","description":"\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\" data-sourcepos=\"64:1-65:293;2887-3196\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDescription:\u003c\/strong\u003e Rise and grind. A rugged wash of cedar and sage with a warm golden shimmer — woodsy, clean, and completely unbothered. This is the bar that makes a shower feel like a personality trait. Manly enough to gift as a joke, good enough that he keeps using it long after everyone's stopped laughing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\" data-sourcepos=\"67:1-67:59;3198-3256\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eScent notes:\u003c\/strong\u003e Cedarwood · Sage — warm, woody, grounded.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\" data-sourcepos=\"69:1-69:107;3258-3364\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDetails:\u003c\/strong\u003e ~4 oz hand-poured shea glycerin bar with a gold-shimmer finish. Vegan-friendly, cruelty-free.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\" data-sourcepos=\"71:1-71:91;3366-3456\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eGood for:\u003c\/strong\u003e Groomsmen, dads, brothers, and any man who owns exactly one scented product.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"My Store","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":48194419425501,"sku":null,"price":10.84,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0842\/1913\/4173\/files\/Screenshot2026-07-19015105.png?v=1784451235"},{"product_id":"exs-tears","title":"Ex's Tears","description":"\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\" data-sourcepos=\"81:1-82:311;3621-3948\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDescription:\u003c\/strong\u003e Ice-cold and strangely refreshing — a lot like you've become since the breakup. Crisp garden mint runs through a glassy blue bar streaked with silver \"tears.\" Lather up, stand a little taller, and enjoy every salty, minty second while thinking about how good you look now. Closure has never smelled this petty.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\" data-sourcepos=\"84:1-84:65;3950-4014\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eScent notes:\u003c\/strong\u003e Garden Mint — cool, crisp, faintly salty-sweet.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\" data-sourcepos=\"86:1-86:101;4016-4116\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDetails:\u003c\/strong\u003e ~4 oz hand-poured clear glycerin bar with silver shimmer. Vegan-friendly, cruelty-free.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\" data-sourcepos=\"88:1-88:103;4118-4220\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eGood for:\u003c\/strong\u003e The freshly single, the glow-up era, divorce parties, and petty-in-the-best-way friends.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"My Store","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":48194420048093,"sku":null,"price":9.52,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0842\/1913\/4173\/files\/Screenshot2026-07-19015042.png?v=1784451214"},{"product_id":"hot-mess","title":"Hot Mess","description":"\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\" data-sourcepos=\"98:1-99:310;4376-4702\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDescription:\u003c\/strong\u003e You'll sparkle. You'll probably regret it. You'll absolutely buy it again. Zesty pink grapefruit meets a glossy pink bar packed with glitter that announces \"I have my life together\" way louder than you actually do. It's fine. Everything's fine. You're glittering now — that's basically the same as being okay.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\" data-sourcepos=\"101:1-101:78;4704-4781\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eScent notes:\u003c\/strong\u003e Pink Grapefruit · a little chaos — bright, juicy, unserious.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\" data-sourcepos=\"103:1-103:103;4783-4885\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDetails:\u003c\/strong\u003e ~4 oz hand-poured clear glycerin bar with cosmetic glitter. Vegan-friendly, cruelty-free.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\" data-sourcepos=\"105:1-105:105;4887-4991\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eGood for:\u003c\/strong\u003e Besties, bachelorette bags, stocking stuffers, and anyone whose whole brand is \"hot mess.\"\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"My Store","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":48194431910109,"sku":null,"price":9.14,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0842\/1913\/4173\/files\/Screenshot2026-07-19015111.png?v=1784451202"},{"product_id":"skidmark-remover","title":"Skidmark Remover","description":"\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\" data-sourcepos=\"115:1-116:319;5151-5486\"\u003eWe're not going to explain this one. You already get it. Deep-cleaning activated charcoal and a little pumice team up with a sharp eucalyptus-and-tea-tree kick to scrub off whatever the day — or the drive home — threw at you. Industrial strength. Zero questions asked. Reads like a warning label, works like a miracle.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\" data-sourcepos=\"118:1-118:81;5488-5568\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eScent notes:\u003c\/strong\u003e Eucalyptus · Tea Tree — clean, sharp, spa-meets-hardware-store.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\" data-sourcepos=\"120:1-120:102;5570-5671\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDetails:\u003c\/strong\u003e ~4 oz hand-poured charcoal glycerin scrub bar with pumice. Vegan-friendly, cruelty-free.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\" data-sourcepos=\"122:1-122:107;5673-5779\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eGood for:\u003c\/strong\u003e Mechanics, dads, gag-gift champions, and anyone who laughs at the name in the checkout line.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"My Store","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":48194434302173,"sku":null,"price":9.27,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0842\/1913\/4173\/files\/Screenshot2026-07-19015050.png?v=1784451186"},{"product_id":"taint-misbehavin","title":"Taint Misbehavin'","description":"\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\" data-sourcepos=\"132:1-133:305;5958-6279\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDescription:\u003c\/strong\u003e Cooling relief for the real estate no one talks about. A bright menthol tingle runs over a clean, minty-green bar — refreshing exactly where you need it and nowhere you'll admit out loud. It's the classiest filthy joke on your shelf, and secretly one of the most useful bars we make. Jazz hands optional.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\" data-sourcepos=\"135:1-135:62;6281-6342\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eScent notes:\u003c\/strong\u003e Menthol · Mint — cool, tingly, invigorating.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\" data-sourcepos=\"137:1-137:95;6344-6438\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDetails:\u003c\/strong\u003e ~4 oz hand-poured glycerin bar with a menthol kick. Vegan-friendly, cruelty-free.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\" data-sourcepos=\"139:1-139:110;6440-6549\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eGood for:\u003c\/strong\u003e White elephants, cheeky stocking stuffers, and anyone with a sense of humor and a warm climate.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"My Store","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":48194436006109,"sku":null,"price":7.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0842\/1913\/4173\/files\/Screenshot2026-07-19015119.png?v=1784451162"}],"url":"https:\/\/stankbars.com\/collections\/frontpage.oembed","provider":"Stank Bars","version":"1.0","type":"link"}